The Struggle With Stress

So I was back to nagging my husband about how he eats. I was telling him about how his food choices leads to clogged arteries, which leads to other detrimental consequences. Between mouthfuls of Captain Crunch, he matter-of-factly replied , “You’re always worried about stuff. Stress. Now that will kill you.”

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have been stressing out about tons of stuff over the last few months. Money, bills, future bills, things that won’t happen for another 30 years, you get the drift. I overly think about what I’m going to cook, what I’m taking for lunch, what I’m going to wear, and on and on it goes.

So allow me to talk to you as I talk to myself.

• CALM DOWN!
• Stop thinking about things that haven’t happened yet.
• STOP RUSHING. Be ready 20 minutes before your departure time. Sit down and relax before leaving.
• Make a plan and stick to it. Plan what you’re taking to work for your lunch, and don’t decide 90 seconds before you’re supposed to leave the house that you gotta grab that bag of Cheetos. If it’s not in your lunch bag, forget it!

I’ve been working for a lot of years now, and I’ve yet to master this. Why do I rush around in the mornings? Why do I do things at the last minute? I get up a full 2 hours before I have to leave, because I like to give myself time. Yet that only works in theory. I know I must leave at 7:57. So why do I make last second decisions? What have I been doing with the two hours?

We also need practical tangible ways to relieve stress and worry. This is what I did:

LISTEN TO MUSIC. I went back into time before my time and I listened to The Emotions’ So I Can Love You like 20 times! I really wanted to sing it but I was at work. Then I listened to Satisfaction by Smokey Robinson over and over again. I tell ya, I would have loved to have been a Motown background singer! Those Miracles were jammin’ behind Smokey! The iPod is one of the greatest inventions of our time. I remember if you wanted to hear a song over and over again you had to keep rewinding a tape. Now you set your iPod to play only one song. Lovin’ it!

GET A COLORING BOOK. Adult coloring books are all the rage! They have intricate patterns that you can really lose yourself in. I got crayons, markers and coloring pencils, and it’s very relaxing. You guys might think that’s too girly, which it’s not, but maybe you can work with models or something. My husband paints football figures sometimes. It’s really cool.

The point is we cannot let stress be strong in our lives! Combat stress now!

No Satuday Morning Cartoons??

So I was up early last Saturday morning, and out of curiosity I decided to see what was on network TV. I was simply amazed that THERE WERE NO CARTOONS!!

NO CARTOONS on Saturday morning.

Saturday morning cartoons defined my childhood. When I was in grade school, there were only 3 networks. All 3 had extensive programming all morning, starting at 7:00! I would get up early, sit in front of the TV with my cereal bowl, and settle in for a good 5 hours. I’d watch until Bandstand came on, or made to get up and do chores.

Now my childhood best friend Linda and I had a system for cartoon watching. We would plot out which ones we were going to watch. Then we have our individual reviews of the shows, talk about what we liked and didn’t like, and which ones were worthy of our continued loyalty. Then after we’d seen all the episodes on one network, we’d go over to another network. We’d never get bored!

And another cool thing about cartoons—the theme songs! Everybody knew The Banana Splits, The Cattanooga Cats, The Road Runner, George of the Jungle, I could go on and on! What I didn’t like is when they started altering characters and bringing in secondary ones. Who cared about Pebbles and Bam-Bam as teenagers, and was Scrappy-Doo really necessary?

Some folks argue that kids shouldn’t be allowed to vegetate in front of the TV for hours at a time. But we turned out alright. I think that all those cartoons fostered creativity and critical thinking. Didn’t you always figure out the crook on Scooby Doo before those “meddlesome kids?”

I know kids have different options these days on Saturday morning, but in my mind, they’re a deprived lot indeed.

Waiting on the Minute

Sometimes the Lord speaks through the TV.

Seriously.

Some of the most dynamic answers to prayer have come to me while watching or just listening to the TV. I was once in an up-and-down, on-and-off relationship with a man who kept me on an emotional roller coaster. I was fretting and carrying on in my mind about what I should do about the latest situation of the week.

For one minute my mind quieted down long enough to hear a guy say through the TV, “Sometimes when you don’t know what to do, just don’t do nothin’.”

ABSOLUTE REVELATION. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my entire world. It went straight to my spirit. It didn’t even come from a TV preacher—I was watching a western. I have applied that wisdom to many a situation for years now. I have never tried to back it up with scripture, but if I looked hard enough I’m sure I’d find something to support it from the Bible.

When I first got married, one of the things that shocked me was how my husband eats. No fruits and vegetables. Massive amounts of bread. Bottom of the barrel crap like Twinkies and cheap frozen meals. Eating large meals and then going to bed. Never going to the doctor. He high-tailed it to the dentist only because he was in serious pain. I nagged, prayed, even tried to shame him into different behavior. Then I let it go, figuring he’s grown; I can’t tell him what to do. So I say nothing as he devours half a pound of super-caloric cashews in one sitting.

So I’m watching The Biggest Loser one night, and a person said of the contestants that at one minute of one day in their lives, they made a decision to make a change, a change that they were willing to commit to and be serious about.

One minute of one day.

ABSOLUTE REVELATION. That went straight to my spirit. I don’t need to worry about my husband’s health habits! One minute of one day, he’s going to get it! He’ll make a decision to change his life! God can turn anything around in one minute! We just have to wait on the minute!

That’s the hardest thing—waiting for change. But we know that God works in secret and he does it little by little. Isaiah 43:19 says “Behold I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it?” If you should get discouraged, just say to yourself, “I believe that God is working in this situation.”

Now when my husband eats a bowl of chili with his signature peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the side, I don’t cringe. I think, one minute of one day…

Salute to 4 Moms

With Mother’s Day 2015 in the books, here is a salute to 4 strong black mothers who knew how to come into a situation, analyze it, take control and diffuse it.

In the aftermath of the Freddie Gray tragedy, Baltimore mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake called a curfew in order to squelch the escalating riots in her city. She called the governor and requested the National Guard and that he declare a state of emergency. She has vowed to outfit the police department with body cameras by the end of the year. She is a mayor who is not afraid to ask for help, unlike some big-city mayors.

Major General Linda Singh, newly minted Commander of the Maryland National Guard, enforced the peacekeeping efforts. Linda Singh is the first black and the first woman to hold that post. She has been on the job for 3 months.

Baltimore State’s Attorney Marilyn J. Mosby, 35 years old and 4 months on the job, took decisive action by charging the 6 police officers connected with the murder of Freddie Gray with second degree murder, manslaughter and assault. She said to the city, “I heard your call for ‘no justice, no peace, “Your peace is sincerely needed as I work to deliver justice on behalf of this young man.”

Marilyn Mosby also said “I’m going to go after individuals whether you’re a police officer or a violent repeat offender. If you break the law and you believe you are above authority, then I will go after you.”

Baltimore’s Rev. Jamal Bryant called Mosby a “rock star” in the black community.

Toya Graham, also known as the Riot Mom, snatched her son out of the full-blown riot and literally knocked him upside his head. Several times. It was the slap seen round the world. When asked about her explosive actions, she said, “I’m a no-tolerant mother. Everybody that knows me know I don’t play that.”

Strong black women. I applaud these bold women in tough demanding jobs.

What if more mothers—and fathers—took such bold, purposeful stands everyday? Snatching their sons off the corner, out of the gangs and drug houses? What if more parents would be that resolute? Can you imagine how much less rioters and looters there may have been, and not just in Baltimore but throughout crime-ridden cities across the country?

Proverbs 23:13-14, New King James Version reads, Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he won’t die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell. And, if I may add, you’ll save his butt from jail.

Message to Mr. and Mrs. Stuck

This is from Sony. Yeah, that’s right, I’m the TV that lives in this house. What, you didn’t know TVs could talk? Yeah, I talk, and so does the dog, cat and all the other so you thought were inanimate objects around here. We talk amongst ourselves all the time. We get along pretty good. We even have parties, when CD Player is in a good mood. The only one we kinda have a problem with is Litter Box.

What do we talk about? A lot of stuff, but mainly about you two. You’re cool; we like you just fine. But you watch waaay too much much of me, and you can be so ordinary. You’re in a serious rut. So we objects have all been thinking. Maybe if you make small modifications here and there, it can lead to other things!

Let’s start with Fridge. Can we change up the salad dressing? French and Italian is cool, but there are so many different kinds these days! Why not try a vinaigrette, or something with raspberries?

Spice Cabinet says there’s plenty of room for some more stuff. Salt, pepper and seasoned salt is so 1970s. What’s wrong with bringing in some other spices, at least lemon pepper. You always say you don’t like real hot spices. Things don’t have to be hot, but a little kick might be okay. Surely you can tolerate a kick! There’s a whole world, literally, of spices! Try some more. It’ll pump up that cubed steak that’s always in Freezer. Speaking of cubed steak, why does it always have to hang out with white rice? It wants to get to know Dirty Rice and Jasmine Rice, maybe even Wild Rice. You might like it.

Now Bed says you put him to sleep. He’s tired of the same two sets of sheets. He wants color and texture! Same with Walls, they want color too.

Here’s the thing—to be stuck in a routine is mind-numbing. Next thing you know, you’ll be watching me from different ends of Couch. How do I know so much, you may be wondering. I’m a TV. I get all the information, whether I’m actually on or not. Change is good! But speaking of change, don’t mess with my NFL Network and ESPN!

Message to Mr. and Mrs. Stuck

This is from Sony. Yeah, that’s right, I’m the TV that lives in this house. What, you didn’t know TVs could talk? Yeah, I talk, and so does the dog, cat and all the other so you thought were inanimate objects around here. We talk amongst ourselves all the time. We get along pretty good. We even have parties, when CD Player is in a good mood. The only one we kinda have a problem with is Litter Box.

What do we talk about? A lot of stuff, but mainly about you two. You’re cool; we like you just fine. But you watch waaay too much much of me, and you can be so ordinary. You’re in a serious rut. So we objects have all been thinking. Maybe if you make small modifications here and there, it can lead to other things!

Let’s start with Fridge. Can we change up the salad dressing? French and Italian is cool, but there are so many different kinds these days! Why not try a vinaigrette, or something with raspberries?

Spice Cabinet says there’s plenty of room for some more stuff. Salt, pepper and seasoned salt is so 1970s. What’s wrong with bringing in some other spices, at least lemon pepper. You always say you don’t like real hot spices. Things don’t have to be hot, but a little kick might be okay. Surely you can tolerate a kick! There’s a whole world, literally, of spices! Try some more. It’ll pump up that cubed steak that’s always in Freezer. Speaking of cubed steak, why does it always have to hang out with white rice? It wants to get to know Dirty Rice and Jasmine Rice, maybe even Wild Rice. You might like it.

Now Bed says you put him to sleep. He’s tired of the same two sets of sheets. He wants color and texture! Same with Walls, they want color too.

Here’s the thing—to be stuck in a routine is mind-numbing. Next thing you know, you’ll be watching me from different ends of Couch. How do I know so much, you may be wondering. I’m a TV. I get all the information, whether I’m actually on or not. Change is good! But speaking of change, don’t mess with my NFL Network and ESPN!

All a Kid Wants to Eat

The Prompt: Write about a favorite childhood meal.

McDonald’s. Plain and simple. I RARELY got McDonald’s when I was a kid. I had to BEG to go to MickyDee’s, so when I did get it, it was a serious treat. My mother, excellent cook that she was, was of the mndset, “You got food in the house.” Then McDonald’s was not this huge Zagat-rated sit-down restaurant. They didn’t even have seats. You walked in, placed and received your order, and promptly left. The big thing for McDonald’s at the time was “change back from your dollar.” We would get our food and go and eat in the car. That was fun then.

Ice cream from the truck. The bells would chime, or whatever annoying ice cream truck music  would be heard, and we kids would scramble to our respective houses to beg for ice cream man money. I would get,”You got ice cream in the freezer.” I didn’t want a grocery store popscicle!! I wanted a big, red, white and blue BOMB POP! Or a orange and white dreamscicle! Now I’m not saying I never got these delicacies, but it was rare. I also learned that if Dad happened to be talking to a friend when the ice cream man came, that was the time to hit him up. He didn’t want to appear cheap in front of his friends.

 

But the best meal I ever had as a kid was the one I had for my 9th birthday. A chicken breast and rice. Finally, a chicken breast all to myself! When my mother would fry chicken, I would covet Dad’s piece, all big, juicy, white and tender. I always had to eat the drumstick. I didn’t want that anymore. The drumstick was alright when I was 5, but now I was in fourth grade! Surely, it was time to move up in the culinary world. So when she fried that succulent piece of prime chicken just for me, I was elated! I loaded up my rice with butter and sugar. From that day to this, the breast is all I eat. Now I only do boneless and skinless, but my 9th birthday meal, simple as it may be, was delicious and truly a heart’s desire.

 

 

One Day in the Park

The prompt: A man and woman are walking through a park holding hands. An old woman is sitting on a park bench knitting a red sweater. The man sees this and starts to cry. The twist: Use different points of view.

Now Dudette is thinking: I’ve got to do it today. He’s a good guy and all, but I’m tired of all the brooding, the mood swings. I’m tired of these kind of men, with their secrets and all. So he’s got to go. And what’s the deal with the color red? He acts so weird about it. The other night I had on this smokin’ red dress; it made my skinny frame look like Beyonce’. And all he could do was claim that he didn’t feel well all of a sudden? He had the runs? Puleeze. I don’t even know why I’m holding his hand.

Now Dude is thinking: “That lady on that bench reminds me of Mrs. Rose, the cook back at the frat house. Her food was the bomb!” He noticed she was knitting a red sweater. Instantly his mind was transported back to the day, that inglorious day when he ran for that touchdown and everybody was yelling his name! He heard cheers! He heard chanting! He saw the sea of red sweaters waving jubilantly as he scored in the Cardinal’s endzone! He couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. Because of his wrong way heroics, his beloved Warriors lost 16 to 17.

Now Old Lady is thinking: I didn’t know it would take me so long to get these orders out! But I’m going to finish what I start! Everybody says I’m nuts for starting this new business, but why not? Just because I’m 79 doesn’t mean I don’t still have goals and dreams for my life. PetSweats, colorful handmade sweaters for dogs, will rule the pet apparel world!

Now the yarn is thinking: I wish she’d finish whatever I’m going to be because this tickles!

3 Cats and a Dog: The Losses of My Life

My father is the best man I know. He’s the greatest father, and I can write pages and pages of testament to Dad. But there are 3 witnesses against him:

Tammy, Spooky, and Candy.

Tammy was my first kitten, and with her began my love affair with cats. She was a cute little black and white kitty, and the way the black on her face framed her eyes made her look like a little bandit. Tammy and her playful antics would have me, Mommy and Dad cracking up.

Now I don’t know exactly what happened that caused Dad to decide to get rid of Tammy. After all, that was decades ago. I thought it was because my mother was allergic. Dad once said years ago that it was because I wasn’t taking care of the kitten. C’mon I was EIGHT!!!! What did I know about pet care? But all I do know is Dad and I took cute little Tammy to a GROCERY STORE several miles away and LEFT HER THERE! I was so upset. Dad’s thinking was someone would feed her. Well, I hope that was the case. I’d like to think that Tammy lived out her life, fat and content, as the grocery store cat who kept the mice away and was rewarded with delicacies from the seafood department.

Then there was Spooky, an all black kitten with white tips on all four paws. Spooky lasted around the household long enough to grow into an adult cat. Spooky fell out of favor the day she had the runs and pooped all over the couch. Dad didn’t play poop. The black cat was brown when he got done with her, and then was banished to the backyard. He told me to find someone to take her because Spooky would not be allowed back in. So I started going house to house, asking if anyone wanted a cat. Luckily, kind Mrs. Dunbar took Spooky in. She said that I could visit the cat anytime, and I did. Spooky even had a litter of kittens!

Candy was a toy fox terrier that Dad got from a coworker. He brought her home unexpectantly one day. What a surprise! It was fun to have a dog. I would take Candy all over the neighborhood. She would follow me to the bus stop and wait with me. I would be outside at my best friend’s house, and someone would say “Donna, here comes your dog!” Candy knew where to go to find me. Candy was a white dog with black and brown spots, and a big black spot on her side. I wondered why the previous owners didn’t name her Spot.

One night, something strange was going on outside. Candy would not stop barking. I got out of bed and looked out the window, and I saw someone run through the yard. Terrified, I ran down the hall and woke up Dad and the stepmother. Then we heard someone at our back door! My father grabbed his gun and ran downstairs. The stepmother called the police. These people were trying to get in! Turns out the intruders had the wrong house, because they kept demanding to see “Rudy.” Guess my father’s gun scared them off, and they were gone. Who knows what Rudy did to them.

But what they did to Candy was cruel. They cut her, right on her big black spot. When I finally got up that morning, that’s what I discovered. Poor Candy! When I got home from school later, I didn’t see Candy. I asked Dad where was she. Instead of taking Candy to the vet, he took her TO THE POUND! I was so hurt and angry! Candy just SAVED OUR LIVES from the Rudy crooks, and this is how you repay her?!

A couple of years after that, we had intruders of the vermin sort. Mice had got into the house. Dad and the stepmother decided we needed a cat. I was happy when placed with the charge of finding one. Turns out the small drug and grocery store down the block had a litter of kittens, and I got one of those.  Kittycat was white with black and brown spots and a big black spot on her side! She was Candy reincarnate! How ironic that I got her from a grocery store!

Dad really liked Kittycat. He used to loved how she would wait in the window for him to get home every morning. If it turns out she wasn’t in the window, Dad would ask, “Where’s the cat?” Kittycat would come running. When the stepmother nutted up and decided that Kittycat was tearing the house up and couldn’t come back inside until she got declawed, Dad actually paid for this. They say that when cats get declawed, their behavior changes. That must be true, because Kittycat had always hated going outside. After she got declawed, she started hanging out every night. She always came back.

By then I was on my first professional job, and I know Kittycat was home when I went to work one morning. But Dad called me at work later, saying he hadn’t seen her the whole day. He looked all over for her, even in the washing machine. Now I really don’t know what happened to Kittycat, but I have always blamed the stepmother for her mysterious disappearance. Dad is in the clear on this.

Hug your pets, people. Hug your pets.

 

 

Protected: Writing 101 #3: The Music of My Life

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