Donna C. Terrell

I Was Just Thinkin'

Message to Mr. and Mrs. Stuck

on April 30, 2015

This is from Sony. Yeah, that’s right, I’m the TV that lives in this house. What, you didn’t know TVs could talk? Yeah, I talk, and so does the dog, cat and all the other so you thought were inanimate objects around here. We talk amongst ourselves all the time. We get along pretty good. We even have parties, when CD Player is in a good mood. The only one we kinda have a problem with is Litter Box.

What do we talk about? A lot of stuff, but mainly about you two. You’re cool; we like you just fine. But you watch waaay too much much of me, and you can be so ordinary. You’re in a serious rut. So we objects have all been thinking. Maybe if you make small modifications here and there, it can lead to other things!

Let’s start with Fridge. Can we change up the salad dressing? French and Italian is cool, but there are so many different kinds these days! Why not try a vinaigrette, or something with raspberries?

Spice Cabinet says there’s plenty of room for some more stuff. Salt, pepper and seasoned salt is so 1970s. What’s wrong with bringing in some other spices, at least lemon pepper. You always say you don’t like real hot spices. Things don’t have to be hot, but a little kick might be okay. Surely you can tolerate a kick! There’s a whole world, literally, of spices! Try some more. It’ll pump up that cubed steak that’s always in Freezer. Speaking of cubed steak, why does it always have to hang out with white rice? It wants to get to know Dirty Rice and Jasmine Rice, maybe even Wild Rice. You might like it.

Now Bed says you put him to sleep. He’s tired of the same two sets of sheets. He wants color and texture! Same with Walls, they want color too.

Here’s the thing—to be stuck in a routine is mind-numbing. Next thing you know, you’ll be watching me from different ends of Couch. How do I know so much, you may be wondering. I’m a TV. I get all the information, whether I’m actually on or not. Change is good! But speaking of change, don’t mess with my NFL Network and ESPN!


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